My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
