i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
