Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
