Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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