I will die if light touches me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
