He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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