don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
