Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's shark week go big or go home
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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