Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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