so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
