this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
