yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
