I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
