i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
