I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
