this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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