Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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