just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my phone needs a breathalizer
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
