Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
