4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
