You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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