my being single is dangerous.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
