i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
