You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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