Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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