just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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