That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
