There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
vagina is talking i cant
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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