Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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