Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize