Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
How external is "for external use only"?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
