the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
