So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize