So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
