Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
