it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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