i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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