Don't make out with my wife yet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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