Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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