You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
