it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize