I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize