I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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