it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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