She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
