What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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