The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
