So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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