So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
