the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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