How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
where are my pants?
in the oven.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
