i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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