Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
