Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
