somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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