Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
operation harelip BJ is a go
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Randomize
