He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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